Its a good thing submarines look like dildos...

...because Caroline Wyatt sure as hell wants to get intimate with HMS Astute. I really hope for Ms Wyatt that all she is doing is printing verbatim a Royal Navy press release because otherwise she really is getting overly enthusiastic about £3.9bn a killing machine that has no real role or purpose in the modern world other than to maintain the delusion Britain still matters on the world stage. It is great to know that while other government departments face cuts of up to 25% the Ministry of Defence can still buy white elephant war toys.